he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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