I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
