So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
