You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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