he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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