woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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