would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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