sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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