omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
