Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
