When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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