As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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