I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
