can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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