"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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