john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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