i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
