just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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