Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
