it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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