Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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