Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
