I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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