I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
