I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
