SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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