Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
