something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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