So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
