Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
