I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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