Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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