u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
