Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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