I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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