A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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