Don't make out with my wife yet
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The beers last night were like the tears from god
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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