i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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