I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
