Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
