dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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