At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The beer is more important than you right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
