I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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