I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Drake has all the answers
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
