I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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