The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
did you just send me my own nude
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
