oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
