Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
