doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
