am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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