my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
