no you cant smoke seaweed
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I want to fling myself into the sun
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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