check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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