PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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