he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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