so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
